Marie : Interview 13
Is there a moment in your life that you wish you could change?
Yes. I do believe that based on irrational thoughts, there’s a specific moment in my life that I capture many times when I close my eyes, and I wish I could’ve said something different or didn’t let rage take over. It’s something I really think I’ve been working on mainly. I was adopted, so I had a family that—for some reason, I just had rage and maybe it was me not knowing who I was or where I come from. And I had let it affect me a lot in my life. So it furthered along with them. To this day I have no relationship but I do hope to one day change that. Which is why I’m working on that irrational thought.
What is the most memorable pain you've ever felt?
When I was, I think I was like ten or eleven, I had a neighbor and he was so amazing. And he was just one of those kids that was just like… He was so funny, outgoing, he spoke Spanish, he spoke English, he spoke French. And he was, ah, his whole family was murdered. About a week after they moved away from us. And it was the big thing in our city and we were shocked. I couldn’t believe who it was and he had given me this little surfboard and a necklace. And that’s one of the hardest things that—at that age, I couldn’t accept his disappearance. I didn’t want to go to the funeral because I didn’t know what it was. I couldn’t face the facts of what was going on in that time. That was very memorable and I’ll always remember that.
Who is the most important person in your life?
Hmmm… I would have to say myself. Because I just think, at the end of the day, you should be the most important only because you’re the one who has to live inside your brain and live inside the internal scars or the joys that you get to experience in life. And I think it needs to be up to you to experience that and hold on to that. Hold on to that because I just think that people come and go. And it’s just not up to a specific one to be a part of your happiness, your anything.
How do you define being "in love"?
I define being in love—since I currently have a fiancée—as being able to stare at each other at the end of the day even though you may have been horrible for whatever reason the filter was that day. And just knowing that, like, in the worst of the moments, they’ll still see you for you because they know you. And it doesn’t matter the emotion or the reasoning, but at the end of the day, it’s like the happiness you’ve experienced will always outweigh the bad.
What will you miss the most when you’re gone?
I will miss children. Their innocence that they bring to my life, to everyone’s. Ya know, just turning a happy—a happy face from something that was once a crumpled time and you’re just like, “No way is this gonna get better” and somehow you remember something that a child did, or you see it just because something put it in front of you at that moment. I’ll miss that the most. The innocence of the happiness they bring.